God Is My Backseat Driver

I’m your knight in t-shirt armor,

the kind of guy who notices

the periods at the end of the titles on U.S. currency:

John Snow

Secretary of Treasury.

John Snow, Secretary (was) of Treasury—period?

What is a period doing there?

Is this some sort of metaphor

for our government—

misplaced or odd-placed periods?

Yes, this is what I do,

can you stand me now?

Is I all that you thought I was cracked up to be?

It’s how my head works.

I only grease the gears, I didn’t

invent the machine,

So I will not apologize. I won’t.

You don’t ever have to apologize either,

but you do have to tickle my balls

every now and again.

It’s the least, really, it is the least.